


forgive the sea, follow the tide

by birdlord5000



Category: We Know the Devil (Visual Novel)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, Texting, blue end, pre-relationship for the three of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 07:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21316753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdlord5000/pseuds/birdlord5000
Summary: things are different after Neptune becomes the devil, but not as different as she wishes they would be
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	forgive the sea, follow the tide

_ sometimes i wish i had opened my mouth to drink _

The text from Venus comes in at 2 a.m., but Neptune is still awake to see it because late at night is the only time when she can get any peace and quiet in this house. It’s hard work being a demonic little brat when the rest of your family tries so hard to make you as good as them.

She lays back in bed and stares at the message for a minute. The screen bathes her room in a ghostly blue-white light. Venus’s texts are usually longer and contain more capital letters and proper punctuation. The one she had sent to Group West’s group chat a month after camp ended explaining that she was a girl had been several paragraphs long and had links to three different Wikipedia pages. 

Another thing is that Venus never talks about that night. None of them do, although sometimes Neptune wishes they would. After the dark water finally washed away, the other two spoke only in glances, and she was too tired to open her mouth and risk barfing up another gallon of ooze. The final week of camp had been a quiet one, though not so quiet that they didn’t exchange phone numbers before they left. It had been six months, and no one could bring themself to talk about it.

Before Neptune can even consider how to reply, a second message pops up.

_ i know you said that it had to be you, but i can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to be the devil _

Neptune smiles in the darkness. Not only is she bad, she’s infectious. 

_ in my experience its pretty soggy _

It had been, at the end. Once the devil was almost completely gone and she was just a girl in her wet clothes lying on a tarp in a puddle of her own sin. Venus and Jupiter stood beside her in soaked shoes even though they didn’t have to. They had done their duty and killed the devil, brought her back from monstrous sin to dull humanity. They were too good, too good at pushing down the kinds of things that had gotten them sent to camp in the first place. They weren’t like Neptune, who had tried repression and found it boring, who would rather be up front about her sin, no matter how much her family hated her for it.

_ neptune. i’m having a crisis. please be serious. _

_ u know thats not my style babe _

That Venus would even admit to being in crisis mode is worrying, but it’s better than when she used to bottle everything up and pretend like nothing was wrong. Better out than in, that’s Neptune’s motto.

_ alright. when was the last time u threw up _

_ when i was like 12 i think? i had the flu. what does this have to do with anything? _

_ im trying to make a metaphor shut up _

_ So u know when u throw up and the actual throwing up part sucks shit n is disgusting but then afterwards u feel kinda relieved bc at least u got it out of your system? _

_ i guess so _

_ being the devil is like that. its like getting all your nasty shit up and out. and maybe itll all come back later but right then u feel like everything disgusting about u is on the outside for once _

_ yeah i did notice you uh _

_ disgorged _

_ a lot when you were the devil _

_ im gonna come take your dictionary and set it on fire i stg _

_ ok maybe i deserve that _

_ i was just wondering _

_ because as horrible as it seemed, it honestly looked kind of freeing _

_ admitting that you’re bad and that you want something and letting the devil in _

_ i should go to sleep. _

_ sleep tight nerd _

_ dont let the devil bite _

Neptune turned off her phone and closed her eyes. Streaks of color and light danced in the darkness, and she watched them as sleep pressed inward. 

  
*

Neptune is falling asleep to a lecture in her scripture class when her phone buzzes against her thigh. She slips it out of her pocket, keeping one eye on the teacher, and holds it carefully in her lap. One new message from Jupiter. Knowing her, it’s probably her school’s lunch hour, but Neptune likes the idea of perfectionist Jupiter texting during class. She hunches over her desk a little farther and opens up the message. 

_ hey weird question but uhhh, if i had taken you into the closet for 7 minutes in heaven what would you have done?? _

Neptune has to repress a snort.

_ what do u mean what would i have done _

_ i wouldve made out with you _

_ thats the point of the game jupes _

_ oh. _

_ venus and i didnt end up kissing. _

_ we just talked and she let me put my hands in her hair _

_ which btw is super fluffy and i thought that was weird because no dude i know takes good care of their hair but i guess it just goes to show _

_ that venus is a girl that is _

_ u two are fuckin hopeless _

_ u get the chance to make out with someone cute and u dont even take it!! _

_ its not fair _

_ wait are you saying that i’m cute or that venus is cute? _

_ both _

_ dont let it get to your head _

_ oh _

_ just so you know i’m not gay _

_ sure honey _

_ and my names uranus _

_ i’m serious! i’m just a tomboy who’s not really interested in relationships _

_ jupes i wish u could hear yourself rn _

_ theres a reason u were at that camp _

Jupiter’s chat bubble fills with ellipses, then disappears. Dots again, then nothing. Neptune has time to raise her hand and ask to go to the bathroom before she gets a response.

_ saying it makes it real _

_ i can’t handle it being real _

_ not now _

_ not yet _

Neptune tries her hardest not to sigh to the empty hallway as she makes her way to the back staircase where she likes to hide out during class.

_ well babe, let me know when youre ready _

_ dont let the devil in without me _

She turns off her phone and shoves it back into her pocket.

  
*

The three of them still meet up, but it’s hard when they’re not all sleeping in the same cabin. Venus and Neptune live only a few towns away from each other, but Jupiter lives a good hour south of both of them. Luckily, there’s a movie theater at roughly the halfway point that makes for a good meeting place. None of them have the same taste in movies (Venus likes psychological thrillers, Jupiter is a fan of action and sci-fi, and Neptune loves horror), but if there’s something good out, or something extraordinarily bad, they’ll all suffer through it together.

Neptune is the oldest by a few months, and as such she’s the only one of them who can drive without a parent in the car. She goes to pick up Venus, whose parents are happy that their shy, sensitive son has made some friends. Jupiter’s dad always drives her and usually buys a ticket to a different movie or finds a coffee shop to sit in until Jupiter is ready to go home. Jupiter has told her mother about Venus (well, the parts about her that Venus’s own barents believe), and her mother is always happy to see her go out on some date-like excursion with a “boy”. If she wants to believe that the reason Jupiter’s been happier since camp is because she managed to find her long lost heterosexuality, then no one is going to tell her otherwise.

“I still think we should have seen Killer Queens from Outer Space,” Neptune says, digging into the popcorn before the previews have even ended. The movie they’re here to see is some sappy coming-of-age bullshit that seems like it was just made to get awards.

“Real life is already a horror story,” Venus says. She’s taken off her shoes and folded her feet beneath her. “Besides,” she glances around for a second, lowers her voice. “I heard that the two leading actresses in this movie have a lot of sexual tension. Plus, someone online said that they saw two girls holding hands in the background of one of the scenes.”

“Oh, so we’re here for our feast of scraps, huh?” Neptune sank back into her seat. “Alright, let’s do this.”

Jupiter shoots Venus a look when she thinks Neptune isn’t paying attention that Neptune, seated as she is between the two of them, can see anyway. It’s a look that says “she’s doing it again. She’s asking for too much.” It’s a look that Neptune doesn’t appreciate. What she wants is what she deserves, and the others deserve it too, even if they don’t realize it yet. 

The movie comes on soon after, and the three of them go silent. The plot is pretty predictable, but at least the costume design is really nice. Neptune distracts herself from her boredom by watching the swing of long skirts and the glitter of necklaces. And Venus and Jupiter were right, the main character and her best friend are cute together. It just isn’t enough to be satisfying.

Towards the middle of the film, during a scene where everything is rainy and miserable and the main character is crying, Neptune feels a hand brush hers. She looks over, and Jupiter is still staring at the screen, but she’s holding her hand palm-up, an invitation.

Neptune puts her hand in Jupiter’s, slowly, watching her the entire time. She looks like she’s nervous, but like she’s trying to pretend like she isn't. Her hand is hot, and when Neptune takes it, she laces their fingers together. They say nothing as the rain onscreen beats down on the characters’ heads.

They’re still holding hands near the end of the movie when Venus leans over and rests her head on Neptune’s shoulder. For a minute, she thinks that the other girl has simply fallen asleep, but then Venus blinks her long lashes and looks up at her with a smile. Onscreen, the main character stands at the edge of the ocean as the waves wash over her feet and threaten to pull her deeper. It’s almost too much, feeling love from both sides like this. She feels like she’s drowning in a pleasant way. If only she could freeze this moment, preserve it in a jar on her shelf so that she could experience it whenever she wanted.

Every movie ends. Eventually the lights turn on, the moviegoers shake themselves from their stupor. People get up and stretch, fingers unravel from each other. Someone needs to pick up the bag of greasy popcorn kernels. But even in the bright light, you can still steal a glance, a touch, a whisper.


End file.
